If your child claims that the dog ate his homework, you can ask the dog.
You can't make it through the grocery produce department without asking your preschooler the name and color of every vegetable.
You can't put your produce in your cart without asking your older student to estimate its weight and verify its accuracy.
You live in a one-house schoolroom.
If you get caught talking to yourself, you can claim you're having a PTA meeting.
You take off for a teacher in-service day because the principal needs clean underwear.
You can't make it through a movie without pointing out the historical inaccuracies.
You step on math manipulatives on your pre-dawn stumble to the bathroom.
The teacher gets to kiss the principal in the faculty lounge and no one gossips.
The only debate about the school lunch program is whose turn it is to cook.
You never have to face the dilemma of whether to take your child's side or the teacher's side in a dispute at school.
If your child gets drugs at school, it's probably Tylenol.
Your neighbors think you are insane.
Your kids learn new vocabulary from their extensive collection of "Calvin & Hobbes" books.
Your formal dining room now has a computer, copy machine, and many book shelves and there are educational posters and maps all over the walls.
You have meal worms growing in a container....on purpose.
Your children never, ever leave the "why?" stage.
You turn your china cabinet into book shelves.
You ask for, and get, a copier instead of a diamond tennis bracelet for your wedding anniversary.
Your kids think reading history is best accomplished while lying on the floor with their head resting on the side of their patient dog.
You never have to drive your child's forgotten lunch to school.
Your child will never suffer the embarrassment of group showers after PE.
When a child busts a lip, and after seeing she's okay, you round up some Scotch tape to capture some blood and look at it under the microscope.
You find dead animals and actually consider saving them to dissect later.